Need to reconnect with your spouse—like yesterday?
Above all, keep loving one another deeply and fervently, since love covers a multitude of sins (it overlooks unkindness and unselfishly seeks the best for others). 1 Peter 4:8
Marriage is designed to be a place where we experience being deeply known and loved. It also challenges us by confronting our selfish nature. We got married because we loved being with this person. However, marriage can sometimes feel challenging, and we don’t know how to bring the fun back into our relationship.
Drs John and Julie Gottman have over forty years of research and clinical practice with couples and have written several books on marriage. One thing they have found is that it is important to focus on nurturing friendship in your marriage rather than exclusively managing conflict.
How many times have we found ourselves on a date with our spouse, and all we talk about is the kids, our work, or current life stressors? In every marriage, it is important to be intentional about maintaining awareness of our spouse’s world, sharing fondness and admiration, and strengthening emotional connection. But at times, we may not know where to begin.
The Gottman Card Decks app is a simple way to focus on the fun and friendship in your relationship. The free app has several “card decks” of open-ended questions to choose from.
Pick a time when you can focus on your spouse without interruptions or distractions. Find a question to ask your spouse, and remember to really listen to their answer. One of the ways we communicate that we are listening is by using eye contact. After your spouse has answered the question, ask a few clarifying questions like: tell me more about that, what was that like for you, how did you do that? Then ask your spouse to find a question to ask you and repeat the process.
Using the Gottman Card Decks app is a fun way to strengthen your marriage's connection. This resource can help relieve the pressure when you’re looking to have meaningful conversations with your spouse.
